Adventures in Chinatown

In a parallel universe I'm a female James Bond. A swashbuckling, charismatic, secret agent living a glamorous, adventurous life. I'm dodging bullets, saving lives, decoding cryptic messages as charmingly as 007.

In reality, I'm grateful for a tamer life. But then one day, I felt like one of my favorite characters on a secret mission in Chinatown. It all started when I heard a voice murmur: "Goochi, Goochi, Louis Vooton, Coach" in front, at the side, behind us. It was hard to place the voices at first- they were everywhere and nowhere. Then a middle-aged lady with a pouch around her waist locked eyes and repeated, "Louis Vooton, Coach. You want? All original." Ok. It couldn't hurt. She scanned our faces quickly, expertly, then nodded. "Follow me."

We did. Weaving through pedestrians, vendors and stalls till we reached a deserted lane seven blocks away. Our guide spoke into a walkie talkie as she opened a wooden door and we climbed up four rickety, steep staircases then passed through a large sewing factory. The workers there must have seen people walk by huffing and puffing because they barely noticed us, which was reassuring because by then I was convinced we were being kidnapped and had flipped my phone open, fingers ready to dial 911 in case we needed to send an SOS. Finally, we reached a small room and our guide abandoned us to rows and rows of bags. They were all there- Gucci, Coach, Louis Vuitton, Prada. All original, claimed a young Chinese guy as we stood there gaping.

At 1/4th the original price they were a steal, but there were too many and it was hard to choose. And then we remembered the other people on the street who had also beckoned us with the same brand names and similiar adventures...